


I Didn't Expect To Be Alone

by SherlockWolf



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: POV Bones, POV Spock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-22
Updated: 2016-12-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 02:52:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8950999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SherlockWolf/pseuds/SherlockWolf
Summary: Bones and Spock are the last of the crew to pass. And then, Spock is alone.





	1. Chapter 1

    The crew became closer than they had since the five-year mission after Jim died. They kept in contact over a group chat for a year and a half after the funeral. There was no body to bury, but the service was held at Jim’s farm in Iowa and they all attended.

    Bones spent most of that day—aside from when people were around—hiding in the barn with the horses and remembering too many things all at once about Jim Kirk.

    The group chat fizzled out eventually, as things do. There would be a brief comment every now and then, but everyone was going their own way once more. But Bones and Spock kept in constant contact. They’d message one another a few times a month with updates of where they were and what they were doing. Bones appreciated that Spock refused to forget him, and he hoped that he could somehow give the old Vulcan comfort after losing Jim.

    Then one by one, their friends began to pass away. Chekov went out in a blaze of glory that settled a peace treaty with the Klingon Empire. Scotty passed away quietly at home, Uhura by his side. She lived a few more years, then passed away herself.

    Bones’ goodbye to her was hard. Nyota had been one of his favourite crew members during their mission, and she had been like a younger sister to him in later years. Not to mention that Joanna adored her.

    Sulu passed away next, also at home, having retired from Admiralty.

    Finally, Christine passed. She’d lived fairly close to Bones, and so he brought her fresh flowers once a month and told her stories from the senior home he volunteered at. He knew she’d give him shit for not truly retiring like he should have, but he found that he was a lot like Jim: he couldn’t sit still.

    And so, it was Bones and Spock.

    For a few years, Bones didn’t see hide nor hair of him. Spock was enjoying a teaching position at the Academy, and Bones didn’t live in California nor did he visit.

    Interestingly it was Spock who reached out first. He came to visit Bones one day while the doctor was taking a break from volunteering. It had been nearly forty years to the day since Jim had passed away, and yet he was all Spock could talk about. Bones found himself struggling to recall memories his old mind had tucked away, whereas Spock’s memory was as sharp as ever. Bones envied him for being able to remember Jim like he’d seen him yesterday.

    Although it seemed as though the ability pained Spock more than it entertained him.

    He saw a lot of Spock after that. So much so that he ended up moving into an apartment with him in San Francisco. They spent a lot of time reminiscing, which surprised Bones because he would’ve thought that Spock would find it illogical and a waste of his time. Spock would also share stories from students at the academy when one or both of them became too sad to talk about absent friends.

    Though they spoke often and fondly about the others, the most common subject was Jim. Bones enjoyed the stories Spock shared of all of the shenanigans Jim got him up to while they were married. Spock enjoyed the stories Bones shared of times when he and Jim had spent time together. And of course, they laughed about all of their shared adventures.

    One day Bones remembers in particular. Spock had fallen silent in telling Bones a story from his and Jim’s honeymoon. The two had taken a trip to an ocean-centric planet that Jim had been aching to see, and Spock had been describing Jim’s wonder at the alien aquatic species when he’d stopped talking. He had a look in his eyes that Bones had never truly noticed before. The doctor had reached out to him, placing a comforting hand on Spock’s shoulder, and said,

“Yeah, I miss him too.”

    That had been the first and last time Bones had seen Spock cry.

    Because too soon after, Bones passed away.

    And you can’t watch the living once you’ve died.


	2. Chapter 2

    It had been about ten years since Spock had become the last of his friends to live. McCoy had lasted the longest, for which Spock had been oddly grateful. He had always considered McCoy to be his closest, truest friend, aside from Jim. But Jim had been his t’hy’la, which was not important in the same way as the relationship Spock had had with McCoy.

    Nero was ripping a black hole in the universe, and Spock was responsible. He knew something terrible was going to happen. Nero blamed him for things that—logically—had been out of Spock’s control, but which he nonetheless felt guilty for.

    Spock spent a year on an ice planet while Nero built his ship so that it would successfully destroy Vulcan. He watched in horror while his planet died, and though he’d barely been able to glance the year before his ship had crashed, he knew that his younger self had watch it, too.

    Then he met James T. Kirk.

    Younger, wrong eyes, lighter hair, but it was him. Spock would admit that his age and excitement had gotten the better of him, but he could not regret telling this alternate Jim who he was and what his Jim had meant to him.

    Meeting his younger self was, as Jim would say, a “wacky” experience. This Spock was younger in age than Spock had been when he’d become Science Officer on the _Enterprise._ He was angrier as well, though Spock justified that since he’d lost both his home world and his mother. Spock would have loved to meet her in this alternate universe. He was nervous, however, to meet Sarek.

    Interestingly, his younger, angrier, handsomer (Spock made this assumption out of spite, which he knew McCoy would have teased him for) self was also significantly more _possessive_ than Spock had been. Spock could clearly see that his younger self had grown attached to Jim as he once had, but instead of amusing himself with Jim’s casual flirtations with nearly everyone he met as Spock had done, this one became frustrated and _jealous_.

    _Especially_ when Spock interacted with Jim. His younger self would be rigid and tightly respectful, as if he were walking a tightrope and would lose his dignity if he fell. It didn’t help either of them that Jim flirted with older Spock (or “Spock Prime” as Jim fondly referred to him as) relentlessly: Spock, because he wasn’t entirely sure if Jim meant what he said or if he was just reacting to what he’d seen in the mind meld, and younger Spock because he was so painfully, obviously, _fascinatingly_ jealous.

    Spock ached to share the story with McCoy. He found himself wishing for the man’s company more often than he would have expected; after Jim’s death in his own universe he and the doctor had become close. In a summary, which Spock ignored and denied, he missed Leonard.

    Which made meeting this somehow surlier, rough-around-the-edges McCoy somehow a much more emotionally compromising event than even meeting Jim had been. Spock had to be careful with the younger Jim, because he was afraid that his mind meld had already tainted the young man’s decisions, and he didn’t want to influence him further. He may be Jim, but he wasn’t _Jim_ and therefore had his own life to lead.

    McCoy, however, could be Spock’s friend as he once was.

    The doctor’s reaction to meeting Spock was one of the most entertaining yet anti-climactic things Spock had witnessed in his long life. It was also one of the highlights of the younger Jim’s life.

    “Ambassador Selek, this is Doctor McCoy.” Jim had introduced them once when Spock had needed transport from Earth to New Vulcan, and had been lucky that the _Enterprise_ was available. His younger self was also in attendance, hovering behind Jim with an _I-dare-you_ look in his eyes.

    One thing Spock had noticed between himself and his younger self was that they both had Amanda’s eyes.

    Jim, Spock, and younger Spock had been in a ready room discussing the progress of New Vulcan when the doctor arrived as requested by Jim.

    “Doctor.” Spock greeted with a tilt of his head.

“Ambassador.” McCoy grunted, squinting at him. Jim was practically bouncing with excitement in his seat, which amused both Spocks. They had all been curious to see if McCoy could figure out who Selek truly was.

“How are things in medbay, Doctor?” Younger Spock asked conversationally, which had McCoy grow visibly suspicious.

“They’re alright. Nobody’s been sick today. Why, is there something I should know?” He snapped. Jim hid his grin by burying his head in his folded arms on the tabletop.

“Simply ensuring your performance is adequate.” Spock replied, and he noticed that even his younger self was struggling to contain his amusement as the doctor nearly popped a vein on his neck.

“ _Excuse me?_ ” McCoy took an infuriated step closer to older Spock, which made it easier for Spock to see the exact moment that his old friend realized who he was.

“You’ve gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me.”

    McCoy took a step back, glared between older and younger Spock, then groaned and threw up his hands.

“Of fuckin’ course there’s two of you.”

    And that was all. McCoy dragged Spock to medbay for a checkup, and over the course of the journey the two became inseparable. Spock wormed his way into McCoy’s good graces with tales that were occasionally borderline blackmail about Jim, and while McCoy didn’t share much besides the basics of his life to compare with those of Spock’s doctor, Spock could tell that McCoy was enjoying his company.

    When the time came for Spock to depart, he found that he would miss McCoy the most. The doctor insisted that he keep in touch, though, and soon he was exchanging messages with McCoy a few times a month as he once had. The doctor kept him up to speed with the _Enterprise’s_ missions, and when Jim died saving the ship and her crew, McCoy was the first to inform Spock.

    Spock considered himself lucky to be on Earth when he received the news, and barely a day later he found McCoy and his younger self, along with Uhura and Scotty, in a secluded room of the largest hospital in San Francisco. Privately McCoy explained how he’d resurrected Jim’s body (with _tribbles_ , of all things. Spock knew his Jim would have been furious), and now they were waiting for him to wake up from a coma. If he ever would, that is. Spock refused to accept that Jim would die before him _again_.

    Before they returned to their friends, Spock offered the traumatized McCoy something he never had, but should have given, to his own doctor: a hug.

    At first McCoy was surprised, but within a minute he was wrapping his own arms tightly around Spock and pulling him close. There was no exchange of words when they let go, but both of them had watering eyes, and McCoy’s gratitude was clear in the comforting grip on Spock’s shoulder before he walked away.

    In the end, Jim woke. Spock volunteered to accompany him to therapy as well as house him since his crew and friends were all working. Spock reveled in the company of his oldest friend. His presence seemed to relax Jim as well, and against Spock’s better judgement (again, age and excitement) they spent a lot of time cuddling and watching movies on the holoscreen.

    When Jim was cleared for duty, McCoy and younger Spock came to let him know. Spock left the three of them in the living room to prepare tea, and when he turned around and saw the trio huddled and talking, he felt one of the emotions he hated yet loved most: nostalgia. He missed his friends so much, and while he’d gotten along perfectly well with McCoy and Jim, he was not their Spock, nor would they be _his_ best friend and _his_ t’hy’la.

    Somehow, this made letting them go easier.

    About a year after he’d returned to New Vulcan Spock felt his health take a turn for the worst. It began with a simple cold, but quickly became what Spock knew to be the end of his life. He sent Jim, McCoy, and Spock letters, telling each how greatly he appreciated their welcome to him. He was particularly glad that over the few years he’d known him, his younger self had come around to both seek and heed his advice.

    Death had a funny way of bringing people together.

 


End file.
